dying inside

all this while i kept all silent
here & there
im noisy
im smiling
im laughing

but was i all this while happy?
is quiet means there always nothing there?
actually i have so much in me
too many that i dont even understand...

i dont know...
i dont have answers...

every second of me im having this feeling
feeling so empty
so lonely
so confused

whoever understand this?
none...

not even myself have the answers to all my questions
many just say to me, 'i understand' 'i know how u feel' ...
nothing is ever close to what i am feeling

every second of my life is full with tears
until i have none anymore
but every part of me is always crying & tearing itself apart ...each & everytime, day by day, everyday...